honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize