We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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