i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
