I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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