Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
