i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
