My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
