It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
