And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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