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he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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