Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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