they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
