smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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