i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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