i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
