i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
send nudes
from the living room?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
