Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
