I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize