Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
