remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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