Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize