Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
