on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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