I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize