So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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