guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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