I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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