i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
