Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
And then my night got REAL pukey
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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