New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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