I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
