do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
