I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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