Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He called his prostate his "boner button".
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
