I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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