1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
