a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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