Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
