But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
