I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
