I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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