my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
