at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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