im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize