I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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