I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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