I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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