pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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