No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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