She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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