From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
