whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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