it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
