no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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