Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
