EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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