I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
