he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
