i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
