I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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