i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My bed smells like the plague
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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