i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
