Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
People in love make me want to vomit
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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