At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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