Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
